Mamalicious!

Summertime…and I’m not blogging much these days. The kids are in camp mode this week, which means I’m in chaffeur mode. I’m also in de-cluttering mode and making real progress. In addition to clearing away physical cluter, I’ve also been chipping away at the perpetual, mile-long to-do list that I’ve been schlepping around since 2005 when my mom died. Speaking of which…

In 2005, I had a third party prepare my personal tax return, my mom’s personal tax return, and her estate’s personal tax return. Somehow, he neglected to actually send me my mother’s personal return to file. Given everything else I had going on–grieving (my dad and my grandmother also died in 2005), parenting, writing, divorcing, and dealing with my mother’s estate, which included two houses to sell in Florida and greedy relatives–I didn’t even realize the error until 2007. At that time, I contacted the IRS and was told that they had filed a return on my mom’s behalf (not taking advantage of deductions, etc, of course), but to go ahead and send in the prepared return (which showed a refund). So, I did that.

Following up with IRS has lingered on the aforementioned to-do list ever since. Until today. Today was The Day I Would Call the IRS and Find Out the Status of My Mother’s 2005 Return. Well, 2 hours and about 10 (not exaggerating) reps later…I have learned that I have to mail in everything I already mailed in to them in 2005, 2006, and 2007. Why? Because the court documents I mailed in designating me as my mother’s personal representative was attached to her estate account. Her personal account is completely separate and show no record of my existence, in any capacity.

So, basically, when I sent in her 2005 return, they just ignored it.

The guy who told me to just mail it in should have told me to send my court papers with it. Given that her estate tax return had been accepted and processed without incident or delay, how was I supposed to know that the personal and estate sides of the IRS were completely separate? So separate that, the 2nd person I spoke to today couldn’t even look to see that I was the personal rep. He seemed flabbergasted that I would ask him for information related to it. I remarked, “I can’t know what I don’t know.” He thought about that for a minute and replied, without sarcasm, “Um, you’re right.”

Too bad he went on to give me incorrect information. Said all I needed to do was file a Form 1310. So, I hang up (big mistake), access Form 1310 online, read the instructions and learn that I am one of two types of people who should NOT file Form 1310.

This is the point at which I burst into tears.

I blubbered my way through 8 other reps, through several hold times of “10-15 minutes”, one automated message telling me that call volume was so high that I had to call back tomorrow before hanging up on me, and one potentially helpful rep who either accidentally disconnected the call, or realized that she too didn’t know what the hell was going on and opted to hang up on me rather than admit it.

To their credit, most of the reps were verbally sympathetic, offered condolences, and apologized for the runaround and misinformation I was given.

So, I’ve printed out the documents that have ruled the last 3 years of my life: court order appointing me personal rep, tax returns, and divorce name change court order. Now I have to write a letter explaining everything to accompany said documents.

And then I wait.

For the record, it’s not even about the money (the refund). It’s about wanting legal closure to my mother’s death.

On another front, I’m in mediation/litigation with a deadbeat who wanted to buy my mom’s house last summer (yes, this crap has been going on since last summer). She put down $1,000 hand money and wanted to close in 10 days. I agreed. We got to closing (me in absentia) and she bailed. My realtor suspects that she either falsified her income or couldn’t come up with her deposit.

Because of the specifics of our contract, I’m not 100% sure she’s not entitled to her money back. But she pissed me off (uh, legally speaking), so I was in no hurry to release her money from escrow. I knew that if we went to mediation, the real reason behind her reneging would have to come out, and if it was legit, so be it. If not, she could go jump. And by going to mediation, she wouldn’t get the full grand back, because court costs would have to be paid. So I was satisfied to go to mediation.

Now…why did this chick send me an undated “legally” threatening letter with no letterhead…certified mail?

I ignored her. It was a standoff until this week when I was FINALLY served by the title company (technically, they are the ones who drag us into mediation, to get the money out of their escrow account). My lawyer in Florida is on the case. Stay tuned.

My mom’s house ultimately sold (to a buyer who could actually produce proof of income and a down payment). My grandmother’s house (the house I grew up in) was nothing but a liability so I had it bulldozed last month in hopes of selling the property to an adjacent hospital. My realtor in Florida–who, at this point, 3 years in, has become a friend–thought it would be nice to send me pics of the demolition. Not nice–I felt ill.

Oh, and I still have a money-grubbing uncle who damaged the house and owes my mother’s estate, but is holding out for proceeds from any sale of the property. Yes, I’m fighting him in court, too. On principle.

So needless to say, when this is all over, when the IRS does its thing, when all the judges have ruled, when the lawyer has been paid, and I’ve had a really good cry and a bottle of this– then I will be in the right frame of mind to visit my mother and grandmother’s headstones down in Florida. It was a minute before they were placed because I had their pictures put on them. A well-meaning loved one emailed me pics of the headstones last year (or was it 2006?), but I haven’t been able to look at them.

Anyway…big sigh. Off now to write a love note to the tax man…

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 25th, 2008 at 5:00 pm and is filed under Enemies, It's...Whatever., My Last Nerve, This and that. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.